Scan Results

Update #4 (Nov. 7)

OK, so it turns out, I suck at details (this comes as no surprise to those who are closest to me). I had an appointment with Dr. Krie (oncologist) this morning scheduled for 7:45 am, but I remembered wrong when Dr. Dosch (surgeon) called me last week and told me I had cancer and some appointments coming up. Or maybe it was his nurse Amanda who called me about the appointments. Either way, I put the appointment in my calendar for this morning, then later moved it to next week because I thought I had remembered wrong. Ugh!

Well, the point is, I got my test results this morning. Which was sooner than I was expecting, but better than having to wait 6 days. Also, I had to rush over there really fast without finishing my morning ablutions. (I'll come back to this)

Sorry. I'm killing you with stupid details. Get to the point, girl!!!

I met with my oncologist, Dr. Amy Krie this morning, and it turns out I really do have cancer. (I am pretty sure I've blogged these words before...) And I don't get to have my way with treatment. Chemo is in my future. And lots of it. When she walked in the room, I said, "Did you miss me?"

You know, because I'm funny.

Here's the good news: Our prayers for containment were answered. On the PET scan, the only glowing parts- which indicate where glucose is extra present- were the normal places; the brain, and anywhere where urine is present, so the bladder and the kidneys- and the right armpit, axillary lymph node area. So that is what we hoped!

The CT scan picked up a few shadowy places that they want to test some more on my liver and in my spine. I will be having an MRI soon to check those further. The spots on my liver give every indication of being cysts, which are no big deal. People live symptom free with liver cysts all the time. The spots in my spine are so small, she's not sure she can get a read on what they are, even if I were to have a biopsy (Ugh! No thank you on that one!) So MOST LIKELY, we are looking at a localized recurrence.

Next steps: 
MRI soon. I don't have a date. Again, praying they don't find anything in the bones or liver, but let's be honest. I think they're grasping at straws here. Dr. Krie said this is why full body scans can be so frustrating. Because we all have weird stuff floating around that we live with our whole lives and never have problems.

Echocardiogram shortly thereafter. Chemo is really hard on the heart. They monitor its health throughout treatment.

Port Placement. This is a quick, outpatient surgery to put in a new port. I had one before, so there is a lot of scar tissue there. Not sure how that's going to work, but I imagine when I meet with Dr. Dosch on Monday, I'll find out.

Start chemo. Probably around Thanksgiving or the first part of December. (Happy birthday to me). Last time, I received 3 chemo drugs: Taxotere, Carboplatin and Herceptin, once every 3 weeks. 6 doses for a total of 18 weeks. I actually got the Herceptin once a week during those 18 weeks, then once every 3 weeks for the following year.

This time, chemo will be more frequent and a slightly different cocktail. Still includes the Herceptin, which targets the HER2 receptors on cancer cells and doesn't have too bad of side effects, plus a similar one called Perjeta, which works some the same way. All she wrote next to that one is "diarrhea." Awesome. The third one is Taxol, which is different from Taxotere, which I had before, but is a systemic chemo that will make my hair fall out. Again. At least I have cool wigs. Maybe I can score another one!

I will get this cocktail once a week for 12 weeks. So basically, I'll feel like shit the whole time. Awesome.

After 12 weeks of low-dose chemo, they amp it up to a harder cocktail of Adriamycin and Cyclophosphamide every other week for 8 weeks, so 4 doses. 

Then I get a little 4 week break to recover before going to surgery to remove the affected lymph nodes. The tumor should be completely gone by then, and I don't fully understand why they don't just remove the tumor first. I hate having it in me. Another thing I will ask Dr. Dosch on Monday.

Then I get radiation. 

Then I go back on Tamoxifen (which she told me to stop today) for another 5 years, and they do a surgery to remove my ovaries. 

Meanwhile, I will get to do a whole year of Herceptin and Perjeta infusions. 

As you can imagine, this was a lot to take in this morning, and I cried a lot. You guys, I don't want to do chemo again. I'm a whimp, and I hate being sick. I want to be Wonder Woman and take on the world, and stay active and say yes to things that sound like fun. And what about my students?! Who will teach the world to sing if I do not?! I have plans. I have committed to things way down the road! 

And this is me ON anxiety meds.

I am going to have to disappoint some people. 

Anyway, I looked like hell after all the crying. I told Dr. Krie that it was good that I hadn't quite gotten around to my makeup before going in. "Just so you know, this is the 'before' picture." 

She laughed and said, "I'm just relieved to find out you don't look perfect all the time." 

I was like, "I woke up like this." 

Like this, but instead of an over all blue hue, it was
much redder, and I have better hair. For now.

I was a hot mess as we were getting ready to leave the consult room. I tried to pull myself together. After all, there were people in the waiting area who would soon be learning some awful news like I just did. Try to put on a brave face! Thankfully, I had a pair of sunglasses in my purse.